eye

HERE WE GO :)

photos, expressions, and whatever else fit to report.

I am curious about how I know you..
jumpinjesus
sumsinnow
In the wide world webby realm of social networking it's easy to get lost in the semantics as to what constitutes a "friend".. so in that vein, I ask who are you and how do we know each other here on LJ?? Do we know each other in real life, meet at a party? etc etc etc..

Please to post a response.. :)

Thanks!

diagonal all the way
eye
sumsinnow
diagonal all the way

All a blur
eye
sumsinnow
All a blur
All a blur,
originally uploaded by JosephRPalmer Photography.
All a blur

.
eye
sumsinnow
Time Moves.
And lately it's been moving at light speed.
Knowing the point at which I end, is also
where I began.

mr time
eye
sumsinnow
mr time
mr time,
originally uploaded by josephp.
It's sometime somewhere.

(no subject)
eye
sumsinnow
Watch it now, the inner self says nothing that you can't want to hear.

Flying Marvel
eye
sumsinnow
Flying Marvel

Captured not to far from my house, and it wasn't easy, this coolpix L110 sucks unless you're really steady..

Issues that I struggle with..
eye
sumsinnow
1. Falling for someone and having a hard time seperating my thoughts of him from everyday activities.
2. Taking it deeply personal when I'm rejected.
3. Being suspicious when the person in the above #2 seems to be making "friends" with someone else, and me wondering why the fuck aren't they "friends" with me.
But not really truly knowing if they are making"friends" with that person, just going off of what I see because I am obsessed with #2 and generally anxious about the whole possibilty of a relationship anyway.
4. Being wishy-washy and a pompous ass when it comes to me cutting that person off in my head, only hoping to hold on to the last string of hope that they will "come to their senses" and all of a sudden like me more.

This is why I don't date that often. I find a guy interesting and attractive and a joy to be with, but then my anxiety takes hold, I get a signal of some sort, I latch on to him and/or the idea of him being wherever they are. I get a little paranoid and might call too often, or text too often. Then when I do get the nerve to ask what's going on, I get all tense and stupid.

It was this time last year that I was dating someone and it went well for a short while, but then something happened and I reacted. It took me awhile to move on. I ended up seeing a therapist (which was suppose to have been set up a long while ago to talk about my panic attacks..) and the first session I burst into tears, finally releasing the stupid shit in my head about what was going on in that relationship and why I was pretty damn depressed for so long. I need to break this cycle. I want to break this cycle.

I would love someday to find myself in a place where he and I find each others interest mutually and I can go about my daily life without feel so god damn anxious, annoyed, tearful, upset, and all that emotional baggage that I put myself through.

Writing this and being honest and sharing with my friends, helps...
Tags:

Moving soon
green, calm
sumsinnow
I'm moving on down and out from my home of 13 years. It feels good and exhilarating to be moving on my own accord and to a place that's more suited for what I need.

I feel cramped in here.

Sure the windows are wide and the sun shines through, but the box that's behind me is cramping me. I need something larger and,

I also need to quit taking cabs to work almost every time I work.

It gets expensive.

I'm loving my new toys though.

I haven't written in ages. Just realizing this. My words feel strange coming out. It's as if I have to shake out the cobwebs from my vocabulary.
Tags: ,

(no subject)
spiked-collar, blue
sumsinnow
The moments are turning in time.
When all nines will encompass one.

When everything is in place,
the currents will carry it
to a destination in the yonder.

You might here it's name.
But then again, maybe not.

Depends if you're listening.
Or not.

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